Ok..30! Time to get it right …

It’s been almost a year I have not been in the sober blogging! And it s been too long! A little up date? Oh well…so so! Have I been drinking…YES! How many relapses? 7! The whole cycle again and again! It went downhill when the boy and I broke up! It was a difficult and sad! So what did I do, went on a bindge! Did I feel better? No! I still hate my self when drunk! And the next days are just as bad! All the self esteem just flies away- The questions that is hunting me is WHY? WHY do i keep doing it if it s bad for me? Am I a sort of masochist? It s been now 10 years since I first go my first experience in drinking! I tried to drink normally, it failed! It just got worse and worse! It s been 5 years since I first try to stop! Countless relapses! Is it a lack of strength and will? The only thing i know if i don’t stop something bad will happen! I am turning 30 very soon and i want this decade to be booze free! I want to say good bye to the 20’s and this is what I could say: “Ok 20’s I had my share of fun, partied a lot, done some crazy shit, did the experiences I needed!, but i am fed up! I had enough and I don t want any of this anymore! I am a grown responsible women who knows what she wants and what she deserves! BYE-BYE!” and this is what I would say to the 30’s “Well hello 30’s! At first I really did not want to meet you! I was pretty anxious to tell you the truth! I  always thought that when I would turned 30 I would be happily married, with a kid, have a nice little life with a job a liked! The date is approaching super fast and of course nothing turned out it like planned. The boy (who I thought would be Mr Right) and I broke up this summer, I really don’t like my job anymore and I am still battling with my wolfie (as Belle would say) , so NO WONDER  I did not want to meet you! But actually now, after trying to find the positives points: I am excited now because i can look at it in a different angle : It s a new decade, take the opportunity to do want YOU want! So 30’s I am happy to meet you and I hope that we will have a nice and un-bumpy ride, booze free!” Have you ever googled : “How to stop drinking”? I have countless times! And this is the first tip they give you: Make your intentions known Tell your family and friends that you’re trying to stop drinking alcohol and explain why. This way, you can share your successes with them, and they’ll understand why you’ve started turning down drinks or trips to the pub. Frequently reminding yourself and the people close to you why you want to stop drinking can help keep you on track, and may even encourage someone else to give up or cut down with you. So I am telling you out there, my last glass was on October 9th and I will try to do everything I possibly can not to pick up again! Namaste! C. XXOO

new-beginnings-

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One thought on “Ok..30! Time to get it right …

  1. We saw you briefly and now poof … gone! Whether you drank or not, it’s not the end of the world. What matters is that you don’t stop trying to make the shift to alcohol free. Get support, I have rarely seen anyone succeed at anything when they were alone. I still need support and I am 10+ years sober. I will never stop needing the perspective of others. Hang in there and know you are loved. There is much to be gained in sobriety. In reality we gain more not drinking. It just doesn’t seem like that at first. Sending love, Lisa

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