This is a letter i have been meaning to write for a long while, I need to express sincerely my feelings towards you. It will be harsh but honest. It s time for you to know. I HATE YOU! I wish i never ever met you, that you never entered my life. As a kid I already knew that you were bad, especially when you were hanging out with my mother! You almost fucked up my family! Thank god my mother was stronger and she was able to break up with you and forever.
I never thought that we would meet again, but we did. At first we had fun, hanging out during parties but our relationship got worse as years past. The more you and me got together the more my life was getting unmanageable. You were responsible of my blackouts, my depression, my low self esteem, my worries! I know that you and me will never ever be friends, it is just not possible. I tired to hang out with you by little doses, trying to control our friendship, but somehow we never make it. It ALWAYS ends up in a shitty situation! Always! Then again and again I feel like shite, I act stupid and never remember what we did. The next days are just HELL! I hate my self when we get back together. I try so bad to avoid you! But you are everywhere, fucking everywhere! And you are so easy to find! You enter in a restaurant, a bar, a store, at work, after works and you are there! My boyfriend and most of my friends like you! The thing is, the friendship works with them.
I was able to ignore you for more then 100 days! I was so proud! I thought that we finally got over each other! I had accepted that we would never be friends! And you know what: I FELT GREAT without you! Did I miss you! At first I did think of you, but as the days passed the less you were in my thoughts. But on august 16 we met again. The boy and I had a fight, I felt like shite, abandoned…and what did i do, I ran to you! And we reunited again! As soon as I tasted you i wanted more and more and more! And like every time we meet the night was a disaster! A FUCKING DISASTER! I tend to find you when I feel low. The things is that you help me numb my emotions/feelings. I am a person who over thinks all the time! And when we hang out, it stops for a while, but the consequences are really not worth it. I know it! I try so hard to avoid you! Really!
And you know what I hate also about you? That you are a drug! You are responsible for so many deaths but because of the money you generate to the governments you are tolerated.
Well please let me reiterate this: I HATE YOU. I NEVER EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. YOU ARE MY WORST NIGHTMARE!