I thought I was strong, I thought I had accepted but NO, i failed, I AM BACK on day 1, relapsed on friday night. Huge argument on friday night with the boy. I could not handle all the feelings, the questions in my head so i drank. I did not use the right tools. Right now I feel so low, so ashamed! I am so lost right now! I realized one thing while I was drinking: the fear to be abandoned! To fear of being alone….