Never ever…

I really don’t know how to start this post…but here it goes

Today I pictured myself enjoying a few glasses of champagne locked up in my apartment. Why locked up? Because if I stayed at home nothing bad could happen, worst case scenario would passing out on my couch.

But let’s face it, I would not stand still and then would like to go out and continue drinking.

I am aware that I will never be able to drink normally and accepted it but it is just the never again that sometimes is tough. Approaching the 100 days of being sober is great and I am super proud of it! But I am scared of “after 100 days”…

One day at a time right…


12 thoughts on “Never ever…

  1. This is a great post. That’s why the “one day at a time” saying is so powerful in the 12-step program. We deal with today-today and think about tomorrow-tomorrow. Be in day 101 on day 101—when you get there. Stay committed to “today” rather than a particular date in the future. You’re doing great! You did just that, when you posted your feelings about the champagne. Keep sharing. It helps us all heal. Lisa

  2. Argh you voice just what I’ve been thinking today. In fact I’ve been having a right old pity party. This week I’ve felt very conscious of booze not being in my life. There’ve been lots of people posting on Facebook about the cheeky cocktail they’re enjoying after work or the pleasure of a glass of wine after a long day, etc etc. Sometimes this really doesnt bother me but it has this week. Like you I KNOW I cant drink normally and i know I cant stop after one glass. I’d never be satisfied with the buzz from just one…. I know all this but it still sucks sometimes!

    • thanks for your comment because really I was thinking of all different scenarios but none of them would have really ended well. Wanted to thank you for your book review I ordered 3 of them on amazon and will get them soon.

  3. So totally with you on that one. I got so scared of getting to 50 that I quit at 43. Keep sharing and posting and yes, one day at a time. You are doing great!

  4. I’ve had future thoughts and worries that hit out of the blue, I’m on day 14. I had one yesterday while out with 2 friends furniture shopping. Furniture shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My brain has been my biggest struggle. It was a STRONG one and it felt like it took an eternity to fade. I had to force myself to focus on the moment I was in and not let myself fall into playing out the scenario in my mind. One day, one moment on breath at a time, whatever it takes.

  5. Congratulations on reaching the 90 day mark!! I did not get anywhere near the point you’re at (was at 33 days and relapsed now on day 4 again of the 100 day challenge) and I kept questioning and wondering about ‘what about after the 100 days’… All we have really is today, one moment at a time if we must. You’re doing Awesome!!

  6. Never, ever is just too long! Lol! Kinda like forever, right? I used to say ok one day at a time, for a year, then it was 5, now it’s 10. I don’t like the never, ever either, though I know it is never, ever. I very much relate to your drinking story, I was a blackout drinker too, my last drunk I missed an entire weekend. Ugh. Great post, congrats on 90 days! Woot woot! – Maggie

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