am heading back home after a beautiful week-end in the mountains, it is great to be able to have week-end and enjoy every minute of it. Countless are the times I woke up having no clue what had happened the night before. Not even blurry memories….the black hole!!! Cried all the tears of my body because of those situations. Twice I went to hospital to have an emergency check up. Even after this I did not stop drinking. I mean come on! Any normal human being would have stopped! Oh no, i didn’t, a few weeks later I would just give it an other try. I asked my friends if they were confronted to similar situation when drinking NONE of them ever faced situations like mine. More the years went by more the blackouts were recurrent to appear every single time I drank. The feeling of shame is so strong after a blackout. Who should I apologise to? How much money did I spend? Where did i go? With whom? What did I say? When I meet someone and he/her says “Have I ever seen you somewhere, I am sure I know you”, my hearts start beating fast and I get anxious, what if I met him/her while a crazy night out!
Anyway all this is the past now, I never ever want to face a situation like that anymore in my life.
Saturday night was at a wedding, and it took place in a vineyards in the mountains. Everybody got super drunk the boy included! I had to bring him home! The walk back home took ages because he could not walk properly! He even feel a sleep in the middle of the street! He was just a mess! The next day he had no clue how we got home or what he said. It was not nice seeing him so drunk! And I was really happy not to be in that situation anymore! I had a good sunday no hangover and no remorse what so ever and my god this felt so good! Thank you sobriety.