Should I stay or should I go?

I always fear parties, nights out or just after works drinks, not because I dont like to go out or chill with friends, I m just scared that I might not be able to say no to a drink. A good friend of mine gave me  a tip: When you feel you can not say no anymore, JUST LEAVE.EASIER SAID THEN DONE!  Well that was always a big FAIL in my experiences. What happens is that I resist  for the first couple of hours and then for no reason (or a reason I can not explain..), I just pick up a glass. I see my friends becoming tipsy, laughing and dancing around and I feel left out. That s exactly what happened last time. Went for a nice dinner and I ended up at 5 am in the morning.in a shitty club…drunk! I did not even want to go out at first, but as soon as I have that ONE glass, it s finish. My friends tell me: But why can’t you just control it. Arrrrgggh I HATE when they say that. They don’t understand!!!!! So….now every time I am invited for a dinner, a birthday…I ask the same question: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO. Last year was invited to a hen party in London, a month before I started to stress about it. Girls-party-music-limo-hen party, the crazy combo. As the date approached I feared that night, I couldn’t just back out. The day was nice, the girls had loads and loads of champagne, was strong, passed every time….until we arrived in this big club, 2 am….there was a bottle of champagne left in front of me, and pick it up and…FINISHED IT. I was so drunk that i vomited all over the place, did not remember the address of the hotel…i ruined the end of the night. My friend was very disappointed. In september a good friend is organising her hen party…in IBIZA.  Oh how I wish we could organise her a nice day at the spa, with afternoon tea and scones…

What are your tools to protect your self? I m 29 I can t just stop my social life…I am open to any suggestions, tips!

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2 thoughts on “Should I stay or should I go?

  1. I can relate to this. I would try and try to control it, living the same way as before. It never worked. It wasn’t until I changed my life, not just my alcohol consumption, that it finally clicked.
    I remember getting so stressed about upcoming events.that I would actually feel resentful when someone planned a big night out, because I knew this meant misery on my part (should I or shouldn’t I???).
    For me at 6 months sober, I am just now becoming social again. For the first 5 months, I tried to only accept invites to daytime events. Now I’ve been out to a bar to hear music once and happy hour/dinner a couple of times, but I make sure I have my car with me so I can hit the door running when I feel I need to. I also make sure someone with me knows that I’m sober so they can help me exit quickly if need be.
    I know for me, I would not be able to go bar-hopping or to a hen party at this point. It would be miserable for me. I get that we still need to have social lives, but right now, it’s more important for me to stay sober. I do try to plan lots of lunches and coffee dates with my friends so they know I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. 🙂

    • Hi, first of all thank you for reading my story and leaving a comment. Thank you for sharing and giving me advice. It makes me feel so much better knowing that some people have the same doubts and fears. This week I have a dinner which I am not scared of, the reason is simple, it s a leaving dinner for one of my pregnant friend so no booze:-) 6 MONTHS sober CONGRATS:-)

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